Sunday, December 28, 2008

What Is the What?

What is the What is the title of a new book I got last night from random choice. It's really turning out to be a very interesting read. But, this is not a book report. *relieved?* I just thought the title reflects my life very well. I don't know about most people, but more than half the time I am wondering how I got to where I am and doing the things I do. Most of my adult life, I've tried to find where to belong, what I would be good at, and what makes me happy. It's a mind-blowing process, and also tiring at times, because there are just so many directions that are desirable. My enlightened ex-boss told me this realization of hers: one need to give up in order to receive. Which, actually turns out to be very true. Honestly, the world is confusing, the social system is crap, the expectations are just suffocating. But then, would we ever become who we are if those expectations are not there to push us forward? Sometimes I envy those who can follow the path happily, trolling along merrily without hesitation. I think things would be much easier if I am okay with that. Over thinking is definitely NOT a virtue. I was told by one of my prof. once that I never seemed to question him. I've always wondered if I did ask him all the questions I have, would he be ready with the answers. I know everyone has his/her own problems one way or the other. Therefore, this is not a vent against anyone. I am simply expressing my confusion. Although, I must say all these crap about politics and religions are really starting to piss me off. Why can't everyone just mind their own business??! Correct me if I am wrong, but I thought the ultimate point is just to be nice to each other? Humanity has really failed big time. Anyways, what the point of this blog is i have no idea. I am constantly contradicting myself. That is my dilemma.

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